Back in November, I found out devastating news. I got a call that my brother Jerry was entering hospice care. I was all too aware of what this meant, and I knew this was not the kind of news a sister wanted to get about her brother. I boarded a plane and headed to Seattle to see him. I was so relieved to make it there on time, and to realize he knew I was there. In some minute way, perhaps I brought him a small measure of comfort.

Space Needle through Chihuly

While in Seattle, I remembered that there was a Dale Chihuly exhibit that had recently opened. I grabbed my camera, hid it in my giant purse, and planned to sneak a few photos. When I arrived there, I knew I wanted to take in this beauty, savor it, and not be hurriedly taking a snapshot with the wrong exposure or aperture. And truth be told, I really never have been one to buck authority. So I asked permission. 

“Sure,” the guard promised. “And you can even use flash.” He thought my ability to use flash would be a gift. But I knew I had no intention of using flash. I wanted to capture Chihuly’s exquisite works, set like gems in their equivalent of velvet jewelry boxes – simple black box rooms- with just the light provided. Oh, my, what incredible talent this artist possesses. Frequently, after turning a corner, I would gasp at the beauty. Making these photos provided a happiness I didn’t know I could feel at this sad time. A moment of relief and renewal.

Fast forward to May. More devastating news. This time it was my only surviving brother, John. His news was unbelievable to me. And this time it was so quick I didn’t even have the time to grasp the reality of another loss. June 1st, I was up early for a rare morning shoot at McKee Garden. It was water lily time, when 70% of the ponds’ surfaces are covered in all forms of water lilies. The beauty of some of these flowers was breathtaking. I shot this night blooming species with John in mind.

When I took these photos, I didn’t realize I was about to lose my brother. I only knew he was terribly ill, and I was, once again, lost in beauty at a time of sorrow.

It has occurred to me that I have been blessed with a passion that keeps me not only learning, but also motivated to capture loveliness. It eases stress and renews me. It gives me happiness at times of sorrow. 

I thank God for any talent I might possess. I believe that God gave me some special beauty to discover and photograph both times.  

And while nothing can take away the pain of losing two of my three brothers in such a short time, this photographic journey eased those dark days. When I look at these photographs, I feel joy.  

I think of my brothers and the unbreakable bond siblings share.  And I hope that in the future, these photographs might bring some relief to others going through something difficult or unbearable.  

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